Todays post is such a worthy read! This was written by a very dear friend and fellow graduate. Mike, thank you for letting me share this-something everyone needs to read.
Losing a parent by Mike Schmaus
“I don’t think there’s anything that can prepare you to lose a parent.
It’s a larger blow in adulthood I believe, because you are at the point where you are actually friends with your mother or father.
Their wisdom has finally sunk in and you know that all of the crap you rolled your eyes at as a teenager really was done out of love and probably saved your life a time or two.
Grief runs its course and it comes in stages, but I wasn’t prepared for it to never fully go away.
My phone is never more than one foot away from me at bedtime, because the last time I did that I missed the call from my mother.
The very thought of my mother’s death, at times, made me physically ill for about six months after she died.
I literally vomited.
Her death have at times ripped the remainder of our family apart.
I would not trade my time with them for anything, but sometimes I think it would have been easier had you died when I was very young.
The memories would be less and then the emotions hit me on how I could be so petty.
Don’t complain about your parents in front of me.
You will get an earful about gratitude and appreciation. As a “Dead Parents Club” member, I would take your place in a heartbeat, so shut your mouth. Get some perspective on how truly fleeting life is.
It’s like being a widow/widower — a “club” you never wanted to join.
Where do I return this unwanted membership, please?
Other club members are really the only people who can truly understand what it does to a person.
They just get it. There is no other way to explain it.
Life does go on, but there will be times even years later, you will still break down like it happened yesterday.
When you see your friends or even strangers with their mom or dad, you will sometimes be jealous.
Envious of the lunch date they have. Downright angry that your mom can’t plan your special days in your life. Big life events are never ever the same again.
Here I sit years later and there are still times that I reach for the phone when something exciting happens. Then it hits me — sh*t, I can’t call her.
Her death has forever changed me and how I look at the world”.